DAVAO CITY (MindaNews/7 Jan) -- On the first working day of the year, I sat down in front of the computer and started to write my dissertation. I was several hours into it and was just beginning to get bleary-eyed when Carol Arguillas called to ask if I was in town. She said she had Ed Lingao of the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism (PCIJ) with her and they were coming to Davao to pick up the threads of the Ampatuan story, and that maybe this time I can tag along on this last leg of their quest.

Or, as we say, breakdown of cognitive efficiency. Loss of emotional control. Impairment of moral judgment.

In a nutshell, this is how the human mind reacts to the first stages of psychological trauma.

Since apprehending the Ampatuan massacre, I had been retreating at intellectualizing the full import of events and the cacophony of reactions from various sectors. It doesn’t take a psychologist to see that we are all traumatized.

I hadn’t had much computer time for a couple of weeks because I was busy with stuff and was experiencing intermittent migraines. But on the afternoon of August 31, I took time to write my column. I could not, however, log onto my email, so I went to the MindaNews office and had the file transferred from my usb. I texted Carol about it.

Ten minutes later, Carol texted me back: “Your gmail’s been hacked. You are in England and you’re asking for usd2,500 to pay your hotel.”