TINGOG SA SUBA: Doctor, doctor, I am sick, Call my Lawyers very quick

(The First Instalment)

Inside a sprawling house.

Glory Bee : ( puts down the newspaper) Oh my gosh, they’re going to get me. I won’t let them.

Mickey Mouse: Oh honey, they can’t get you. We have everything prepared before you left. You had midnight appointees.

Glory Bee: But darling, they’ll give me a hard time. They’ll harass me! I don’t like. What if, what if they’ll really put me in jail. It’s so embarrassing.

Mickey Mouse: Honey, relax. They can’t touch you. They won’t dare.

Glory Bee:  But I am getting scared. You can’t trust anyone these days. We’ve paid them but what if our enemies pay higher. Everyone’s a liar and balimbing.

Mickey Mouse: Honey, are you referring to yourself?

Glory Bee:  Ikaw ha! You’re not taking me seriously. I’m scared na talaga.

Mickey Mouse: Well, if you want, why don’t we leave? We can go to Spain or Switzerland.

Glory Bee:   But how? They might not allow us to leave.

Mickey Mouse: Honey, ano ka ba? You forgot I own private helicopters. I even sold some of them. We can fly out of the country without anyone knowing.

Glory Bee:   Ayyy, it’s so undramatic honey. I want a grand exit. I want a publicized drama when I go. I want to leave like a martyr so I would be popular again.

Mickey Mouse: Hmmmm….you got a point there. Dapat konting emotional blackmail.

Glory Bee:  And I want to embarrass our enemies in the palasyo. I want people to say that they are useless, inept and inutile they can’t catch me.

Mickey Mouse: Matalino ka talaga honey. Teka, may naiisip ako. (leaves and then comes back) Here, wear this.

Glory Bee   :   A head strap and a silver vest? What is this for, darling?

(Mickey Mouse bendS over and whispers to her ears. Her eyes brighten mischievously and wears them on) Do I look good , dear?

Mickey Mouse: Yes, yes! you look good!…

Glory Bee: (Suspicious) Really good?

Mickey Mouse: Yes! Yes! You look like… well… strange?

Glory Bee:    Anoo! Ayoko na! Dapat maganda ako when I leave.

Mickey Mouse: Honey naman, biro lang iyon. You look fashionable nga. Am sure ma amaze si Tim Yap sa fashion sense mo. The escapee look.

Glory Bee:  Talaga? O sige, sige.What’s the next move?

Mickey Mouse: Leave it to me. First things first. Let’s call your lawyers.

Glory Bee:   My lawyers? Shouldn’t we call first our doctors to confirm kunwari my ailment?

Mickey Mouse: Mamaya na iyan sila. We’ll talk first to the strategists.

Glory Bee:  ” Okey, I’ll call  Atty. Lambada and Soxy Topacio.

Mickey Mouse: Soxy? Di ba artista iyon?

Glory Bee :  Ay, hindi siya, ‘yong kamag-anak niya.

Mickey Mouse:  (bringing a wheelchair) Here, sit here.

Glory Bee : Ano iyan? It’s a wheelchair.

Mickey Mouse: Obvious ba. Sige, sakay ka na.

Glory Bee:  Ha! You mean I would look paralyze and helpless? Oh my gosh, isn’t that unglamorous?

Mickey Mouse: Honey, you have to look very sick.

Glory Bee:   Darling naman, don’t I look sick already?

Mickey Mouse: Not quite. We have to convince them that your situation is life and death.

Glory Bee:     But darling, para kasing I look like a trying hard tennis player with a head band or a Voltes 5 whatever.

Mickey Mouse: Honey, mabusisi iyang mga kalaban natin.

Glory Bee:   Oo nga ano. Mahirap i-convince iyang tigre’ng si Lilang Walang Asawa.

Mickey Mouse: Don’t forget to act so weak.

Glory Bee:  (jumps into the wheelchair) Ay! I feel like a princess.

Mickey Mouse: A dying princess.

Glory Bee: Napaka morbid mo naman honey. I’m still strong and healthy pa naman.

Mickey Mouse: Darling, dapat realistic.

Glory Bee: Well ,kung sabagay, I can show people that I can really act. Di ba kamukha ko si Ate Guy.

Mickey Mouse: Oo nga. Siguro mas magaling ka ni Ate Guy.

Glory Bee: Aba Oo. Ngayon  I can show them gaano ako kagaling sa acting.

Mickey Mouse: Sana ma-impress si Mother Lily para makasali ka sa Shake, Rattle and Roll 10. Pang metrofest uli.

Glory Bee:    Hmmmm… nice career move iyan nu? From senator to vice president to president to congressman to Regal baby.

Mickey Mouse: Oh honey, you’re such an achiever.

(There is knock at the door)

Mickey Mouse: Come in.

(Enters Reyna Batista Thorn)

Reyna Batista Thorn: Good evening sir. Oh, may bisita pala kayo. Lola mo?

Glory Bee:  Reyna! Don’t you recognize me? It’s me! Your boss.

Mickey Mouse: See honey, you’re such a terrific actress.

Reyna Batista Thorn: (Shock) Mam! Is that you! You look like an alien!


(Watch out for the 2nd and succeeding installments)