TINGOG SA SUBA: Where Glory Bee is heading

Glory Bee is combing her hair (minus the hair band) in front of the huge mirror.
Atty Lambada rushes in.

Atty Lambada: Mam, mam! Good news! Good news mam!
Glory Bee: Good news?! Oh good. Anong good news? Finally! Pinayagan na nila akong mag-house arrest? Ayyy, salamat, makauwi na rin sa sariling palasyo ko.
Atty Lambada: A…. e… (scratching his head)
Glory Bee: O ni-lift na nila ang travel ban ko? Well, I can go na to Spain and Switzerland. I can’t wait na talaga to sing (sings) The hills are alive with the sound of music….
Atty Lambada: A… e… mam…
Glory Bee: Or dinis-bar na nila si Lilang Walang Asawa sa kabulastugang ginawa sa akin! Buti nga sa kanya, nakarma siya sa akin. Naniniwala ka ba sa karma?
Atty Lambada: Mam, itanong mo na lang kay Erap.
Glory Bee: Isa pa iyan siya! He is so ingrate. Pagkatapos ko siyang pinatawad, pa-karma-karma pa siya ngayon. I am so irritated.
Atty Lambada: Anyway, mam, itong good news.
Glory Bee: Ay, Oo nga pala, ano ‘yong good news? Wait, hulaan ko, wala silang makitang evidence na kasabwat ako sa plunder cases ano? Hay, naku, huwag nilan akong kalabanin.
Atty Lambada: E…. mam…
Glory Bee: Or nabili na natin ang witness sa election sabotage laban sa akin at nag-retract na siya? Hay naku pa rin, money works talaga. In this country, money works forever talaga.
Atty. Lambada: E… mam…
Glory Bee: O sya sya, tell me which of the above ang good news. I can’t wait to hear it. (Stands up and starts to dance)
Atty Lambada:  A… e… mam… wala  sa above ang good news.
Glory Bee: Oh, so… ano ang good news? Naniwala ba sila na may tangkang death threat kunwari sa akin at nag-decide sila to let me stay here at St. Lukes forever?
Atty Lambada: Hindi po mam pero mas matindi pa diyan.
Glory Bee: Really? (dances again) Sige, sige, tell me anong good news? Nagbalikan na ba si Piolo at KC? Oh, pls tell me yes, yes.
Atty Lambada: Sorry po mam.Wala akong hilig sa showbiz. It’s so mababaw.
Glory Bee: Tell that to Kris.
Atty Lambada:E mam…
Glory Bee: O sige, tell me na the good news. You’re so mabagal. Am excited na ever.
Atty Lambada: Mam, may mapupuntahan ka na at hindi ka na mahahabol pa nila.
Glory Bee: Talaga? Wala nang mambubuwisit sa akin?
Atty Lambada: Wala na po.You’ll be a free man, hindi ka na nila ma reach.
Glory Bee: Oh really! (mag ba-ballet) Oh really! How liberating! Can I sunbath there? I miss the sun and the beach na talaga.
Atty Lambada: Naku mam, you will have the endless sea to yourself.
Glory Bee: Eternity pool forever? Oh how nice.
Atty Lambada: Yes po. You can bid goodbye to your stupid costume and head band.
Glory Bee: Ay, I like that. Sa totoo lang, I am getting sick of this costume na. Parang it has become outdated.
Atty Lambada: Oo nga mam, sabi nila, fashion victim ang dating mo.
Glory Bee: Okey lang, all that is under the bridge now dahil I want to wear a swimsuit in that vast ocean. Saan ba iyon?
Atty Lambada: E mam, may kalayuan nga lang e.
Glory Bee: Ikaw naman, don’t worry about it. My husband has second hand helicopters (whisper) sold brand new. Gagamitin natin iyon, okey?
Atty Lambada: t… tingnan…po natin.
Glory Bee: How far ba iyong place na iyon? One hour? Two hours? You know I hate long flights ha.
Atty Lambada: A… e…. 600 million lights years away.
Glory Bee: (Shock) Ano! Bakit! Saan ‘yon!
Atty Lambada: Sa kepler 22b po. Iyong bagong planet na nadiskobre nga NASA!

(MindaViews is the opinion section of MindaViews. Ramon Jorge B. Sarabosing is a writer and visual artist based in Butuan City.)

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