TINGOG SA SUBA: Brad Pitt in Siargao

BUTUAN CITY (MindaNews/10 March) — Of course you didn’t know Brad Pitt was in Siargao. Nobody and nobody would confirm it.  Not the mayor, not the police officer, not the resort receptionist or maybe they don’t care, they only know Arnold Swaze-whatever and Rambo.

But while I was about to paddle my way to Cloud Nine ( the surf waves), I spotted this guy who looked all too familiar. ( Remembering “Babel” the last movie I saw of him.)

Me :   Hi. So it’s true you’re here.
Brad : Yeah.

Me :    How’s your stay so far?
Brad:  So far? I like being unrecognized. Thank you.

Me  :  You’ve been around the island?
Brad : No, but I love it here, love this Sugar Island.

Me   : It’s Siargao, not sugar.
Brad : You sure? I thought it’s Sugar Island.
Angie called me how am I doing in Sugar Island. I told her it’s sweet.

Me   :  Maybe you should have brought her.
Brad : I can’t. She’s in Antartica.

Me  :  Oh, shooting a movie?
Brad:  No, catching baby polar bears.

Me  :  Is this your first time here?
Brad : Yes. But my manager didn’t like the idea.

Me   :  Why not?
Brad :  He said there’s a war going on in Sabah.

Me   :  But Sabah’s too far from here.
Brad : It is? Good. Anyway, I also came here to see the crocodile.

Me   : You mean Lolong? He’s resting in peace now.
Brad : ( surprised) Man! He’s dead! What the f __k?

Me  : Sorry.
Brad : But there must be other giant crocodiles.

Me   : Sorry man. You can’t see them. They’ve learn their lesson. never get caught.
Brad : Who can blame them?

Me   :  You can’t control greedy beasts , can you?
Brad :  I guess you’re right.

Me   : You must be an ocean person. I like the scene where they chase you in the lost island.
Brad :  What movie are you talking about?

Me   : ( proudly) Pirates of the Caribbean.
Brad : I was not in that movie!

Me   : Gee, sorry! Why do I always mistake you for Johnny Depp.
Brad : I should be offended but it’s okey.

Me   : Tell me, do you like interviews?
Brad : No.

Me   : Pls tell me why.
Brad : It’s dumb.

Me   : Yeah, I heard about that Manila guy who interviewed Anne Hathaway.
Brad :  Very annoying.

Me   :  Where do you go from here?
Brad :  Are you interviewing me?

Me   : Noo. am just a civilian trying to learn surfing.
Brad : Is that tape recorder? ( pointing at my hand )

Me   : It’s my Ipad.
Brad : Well, I have to go. Bye.

Me   :  Where you staying?
Brad : That, my friend is none of your business.

Damn! I forgot to have a picture taken with him.

(MindaViews is the opinion section of MindaNews. Ramon Jorge B. Sarabosing is a writer and artist based in Butuan City)