WAYWARD AND FANCIFUL: Iwas pusoy

If his spokesman Tito Sotto of the famed comedy trio Tito, Vic, and Joey were to be believed, Honasan, who is known for writing the scenario to some of the more creative field training exercises, earned his injuries from leaping out of his car and trying a quick escape-and-evasion maneuver in the urban jungle.

Now, Sotto here has had enough practice mouthing the incredible to the willingly gullible, he almost pulled it off. From the car, over the walls, and on to the roofs, he said, much like that Axe commercial. Like, Honasan was never in the house of Ingrid Ramos. Somewhere along the way, he almost lost his pants, too. Just like in the Axe commercial.

Of course, Honasan’s driver can’t remember this part. It seemed like all the excitement was lost on him. He was asleep when he lost his passenger. He wakes up to find himself in the slammer on the suspicion of aiding and abetting a fugitive. Like, hey – how did I get here? The reversal of fortune was enough to raise his blood pressure.

Moral of the story? Abre los ojos. Keep the blinkers open.

All that talk about freedom curtailed had me laughing as the news went into commercial.

Fittingly enough, the TV blares, “Ano ang freedom?” The perky, jerky teenager answers her own question with a quip worthy of a Binibing Pilipinas contestant. “’Yung walang dandruff kahit katiting!”

So there you go. A human aspiration that we see heroes give up their lives for, an aspiration that had grizzled Gringo Honasan doing a Spiderman, this bouncing babe finds in a bottle of shampoo. She takes her freedom and gives herself the license to shake her bare navel off. Good for you, girl. I grieve for your generation.

Aaargh. Enough.

Of the idiot box anyway.

The morning brought the papers. No perky, jerky teenager there to provide grief. The details of the arrest were intriguing enough.

As usual, Senator Dolphy – I mean, Rodolfo – Biazon, former AFP Chief of Staff, dished out his mouthful. X marks the spot, he says. Two x’s, actually.

You gotta love this guy. He’s got something to say about anything and everything. There’s just too much he knows about the intentions and actions of fugitives from Philippine law. Perhaps a dose of sodium pentothal would save the law enforcers millions for non-audit intelligence operations? A former AFP CS should still have his loyalty to the law unassailable, don’t you think? This legislator opens his mouth and we get this impression that there’s more that he’s not saying than what he’s saying.

Not like Ping Lacson’s, Honasan’s classmate at the PMA. Mum’s the word. A gentleman knows when to zip up.

Let’s see how many gentlemen I know. So I texted some of the gray brothers for their no quotes on the Honasan arrest. Then I went to class. Six hours later, I could have died laughing over my harvest of iwas pusoy rejoinders. Ah, but that’s just it. I couldn’t talk about my unquotable no quotes. I, too, am a gentleman.

Unlike Clint Eastwood, the original gringo, Honasan may be too out of practice at scaling walls and jumping off roofs. But don’t write Honasan off yet. In the arena of Philippine politics, as in life, his present predicament is merely temporary. Spiderman will live to fight another day. Never mind that Tito Sotto wants him to do an Axe commercial first.


(Wayward and Fanciful is Gail Ilagan's column for MindaViews, the opinion section of MindaNews. Ilagan teaches Social Justice, Family Sociology, Theories of Socialization and Psychology at the Ateneo de Davao University where she is also the associate editor of Tambara. You may send comments to [email protected] "Send at the risk of a reply," she says).

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